Cookies and the Cookie Jar

As of late, I’ve seen a lot of people talking about the latest movie to hit theaters, “Think Like A Man”. Granted, I have not seen it but apparently one of the big things in the movie is the 90 Day Rule which basically states any man that is worth is weight will wait 90 days for a woman to give up her cookies. And virtually the same for women. Now…everyone has their own feelings on these rules and I’m just stating how I feel about it. Of course, I’d love to hear others opinions as well so let’s get into this!

Personally, I hate that some people try and put a "time limit" on it. If you loose in the booty, you loose. That goes for men and women alike. Now, I think that being loose in the booty (and I say this to avoid using the word “hoe” but you can say whatever you like) is a mindset. When you go out, you’re going out with the idea in mind, you’re gonna be getting some from someone that night and it doesn’t really matter who. This isn’t a bad thing per say and if this is the lifestyle you live or have lived, then do you. Just be safe and wrap it up. People are surely crazy out there. Some people grow out of this phase and some don’t. Like I said before, whatever floats your boat but be safe.

However, if it's a person you feel a true connection with and they feel the same, fuck it. Wait or don't wait. Some chemistry can't be denied. Some people just meet and click in alllllll the right ways. I was one of those fortunate few with my current boyfriend. Let me say, this is an awesome thing if it happens to you. Anywho, at this point, you two can really try and make that deeper (and by deeper I mean lower, wink, wink) level connection or continue to wait things out. See how you feel after few more dates and maybe no drinks. If things continue on a good path but it’s less than 90 days, are you really in the “wrong” for wanting to participate in the horizontal tango? I think not.

Long story short, they’re your cookies and you can do what you want with them. Don’t let society or stigmas or whatever clog up your brain to make you think you’re a bad person if you pass out your cookie after 1 night or 132 nights. At the end of the day, I can only stress to be careful out there and do what makes you happy ladies (and gentlemen)

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An Ode to Cheese...(1/5)

I’m a fan of the SyFy network for many reasons (one being I’m a science fiction/fantasy nerd), but the main incentive for why I tune in is its low-budget cheesy flix. These are C- and D-grade movies.  The acting is dreadful, the F/X horrific, the plot premises complete and utter bullcrap, and the scripts atrocious.  Yet, in this sea of limburger, one can find nuggets of brie.  I have spent many a happy weekend immersed in SyFy cheese, and have even gone so far as to Netflix some of these films just to have the pleasure of watching them during long droughts when SyFy wants to upgrade their lineup and show some actual movies. 

A side note:  SyFy’s craptastic films cover all genres, but I nearly piss myself whenever they have a sea creature weekend.  I especially adore these movies and I believe that they are the network’s crowning achievements.  The following are, IMHO, the five greatest movies of all time (under the aforementioned criteria):

1.        Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

2.        Frankenfish

3.        Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus

4.        Sharktopus

5.        Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

Notice a trend in the titles?

I shall begin my elegy with the greatest movie ever made: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

It is a travesty that this

brilliant film hasn't been

nominated for an Oscar.

This is the best SyFy flick I’ve ever seen.  Starring powerhouse actors Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson, this is a marvelously flawed tale of millennia-old mortal enemies (the megalodon and the octopus; not Gibson and Lamas, in case you were wondering).  They were frozen in combat 80,000,000 years ago and woke up ready to swing (said scene is snot-inducing from laughing so hard).  These ferocious creatures continue their epic battle on a worldwide scale and it is up to our plucky marine biologist (Gibson) and our gruff government mercenary (Lamas) to keep the colossal sea beasties from destroying civilization.

Highlights of this fantastic cheese brick include the megalodon leaping 30,000 feet into the air to eat a 747, and taking an enormous bite out of the Golden Gate Bridge.  The octopus is no less spectacular.  It bitch-slaps an F-18 (or F-14 or F-22; the type of plane changes as soon as you blink) out of the air and destroys the same oil rig twice.  An Iowa-class battleship majestically fires its guns in an attempt to kill the giant shark, even though the guns aren't facing in the direction of the megalodon.  There is an intense scene where a trio of intrepid scientists (including the-*cough*-lovely Debbie) spends hours and hours mixing chemicals in a lab for no apparent reason.  They have the goofiest expressions on their faces while making what appears to be Kool-Aid: “We’re doing science!” the expressions say. 

The best line in the movie comes from our dear Ms. Gibson, who wakes up out of a random dream to say to an unenraptured audience: “Thrilla in Manila!”  Never fails to elicit paroxysms of laughter coupled with tears of joy.

I’ve watched this movie at least 10 times.  You can stream it on Netflix or rent the DVD, if you are so inclined.  This is a masterpiece of modern cinema.  Five stars, man.  FIVE!!!  And two thumbs up.

Next up:  Frankenfish

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Calling All Nerdettes!

Are you a fellow nerd that would love to be featured on BGN?  Please kindly email me at jamie@blackgirlnerds.com along with a short bio with your name, age, and a lovely photo of yourself to post an article with.

You can discuss anything from why you enjoy being a geeky girl, pet peeves, favorite songs, your twitter handle, etc!  It's all about you!  Just email me and I will publish your blog article within 48-72 hours.

Thanks again to all of you for supporting BGN!

J. 

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I May Be Sitting On A Goldmine!

So I was having a discussion with one of my co-workers today who complimented me graciously by saying "Wow Jamie...you are a nerd!"  The two of us were discussing our avid collections of comic books when we were younger.  I used to be a X-MEN fiend (just check out my blog post about Gambit).   I also collected comic books like Archie and the Dark Shadows series.

Along with my extended comic book collection, I was also a hoarder of baseball, basketball, and football sports cards.  This was well over a decade ago and all of the players I own are now retired and either own their own movie theater, doing underwear commercials, or performing hosting duties on Saturday Night Live.  Anywayz--- so the both of us were geekin' out over the types of comic books and sports cards we have collected.  I even collected the Marvel superhero comic cards.  NERDY!

Ok--so as we were discussing this I suddenly had what Oprah would refer to as an "ah-ha moment".  I could quite possibly be sitting on a goldmine.  I mean seriously!  I have a hologram Hank Aaron baseball card that could be worth hundreds or possibly thousands of dollars.  It was actually worth alot of money back then, so who knows what it could be worth now in 2012!  I also have the very first edition and first issue of X-Men Adventures comic book that was released in the early 90's.

The first issue of any comic book has GOT to be worth something right?  I remember vaguely going to a thrift store as a kid and I bought for two bucks a 1962 issue of Archie and Jughead and its now 50 years old!  Dude what am I doing?  I need to visit my Mom's house and look for those comic books and sports cards!  I can only hope she hasn't accidentally thrown them away.

The next trip I take home to visit it will be my agenda to search for those collectibles.  My question is this...should I sell them or should I keep them as priceless collectibles?

Depends on how much they're worth.

J.

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Top 5 Celebrity Inspired Accessory Ideas

When you are reading this post, all your white –skinned buddies must be basking under the sun in the hope of getting a tinge of dusk which you are already gifted with. Dark-skin or dusk-skin tone is the new sexy. With some care in the accessories you choose, your color gets even highlighted. So let’s see what lessons our dark celebrities have got to teach us.

Pearls do all the magic

I am not a fan of Oprah, but I like the way she uses pearls to suit her chubby face. My general observation is that most black celebrities choose to go simple with jewelry. Neat designs project you better, while the funky ones like multi-chain necklaces will only make you look shabby.

Sterling silver looks too elegant on black skin. Sterling silver dangle earrings are trendy and keep your face well-framed. The celebrity who seems to have realized this is Beyonce. Beyonce concentrates on her hair do and limits her jewelry to sterling silver hoop earrings.  I could observe a pattern in her dressing. She mostly chooses white for her dress to complement her skin tone. Her earrings are mostly circular to suit her oval face.

Try to “Spread your jewelry”. Jewelry definitely looks best on dark skin. But instead of wearing only a gaudy piece of necklace or bangle, go for thin stranded chains and earrings.

              Wavy Hair is the new trend

Regardless of your hair type, you can derive inspiration from Beyonce’s hairstyles. Here is a collection of the best ones. But in the final picture, she blundered by choosing a color for her hair and dress, very similar to her skin tone. If not for the stones in her dress, she would just have been one in the crowd.

Black celebrities are sure to have tried the typical Afro-American hairstyle of dense curls. That is one style which never fails dark girls.  Those who want a change can try neat wavy hairstyle like Beyonce’s.

Bright colors are no longer prohibited

It is an age-old myth that dark girls cannot wear colors like parrot green or yellow. Venus Williams looks gorgeous on her yellow evening gown. But you can avoid layers of different colors in your dress.  Subtle colors like beige or brown look good, but avoid dresses which have the same shade as your skin. Let it be either lighter or darker.

 

  Snakeskin bags or shoes suit you the best

It is a common belief that snake prints go well with dark skins rather than lighter ones.

              Bring out your natural shine

When it comes to makeup, take Kerry Washington as your role model. Black skinned people have a natural shine in their skin which they can project with the help of body creams and foundations. Oprah sometimes stands as an example of how not to dress. Black is the new beautiful and I don’t know why even celebrities like her don’t understand. Most of her face make-ups seem to be craving to conceal the darkness of her skin. And at the end, they only leave her face with imperfect white traces here and there.

By guest blogger Subhashini Umapath 

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"DANG!, YALL STAY IN BOOKSTORES" #THATSH!TCRAY

So I wanted to share a video that I seen a week ago that still makes me smile. I think because I can relate to it. Video is below, enjoy.

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WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO LATELY?

I love music! I can't go one day without listening to songs from my itunes. Music (for me at least) helps any situation. I personally dont listen to one genre of music I like anything that sounds good. I give anything a chance before I up and say I dont like it. On my itunes/ipod/phone (lol) I have all kinds of songs from all kinds of artists such as:

-Jill Scott
- A Tribe Called Quest
-The Roots
-Adele
-Lupe Fiasco
- The Foreign Exchange
-Gym Class Heroes
- Maroon 5

Just to name a few, below I made up a small playlist of songs that were rated most played on my itunes this month. (There were others but I wanted to keep the list as short as I could)

Hope you like the tunes, also share the songs you have been jammin' too.


-Nikki Lajoy

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Project: Getting (or kinda finding) My Sexy Back

Much like many of us here it seems, we all have a shy air about us. We speak up, but occasionally. As misfits, we really keep to ourselves and kinda just do whatever makes us happy. Not that this causes sexual repression, it may make you feel like you’re just…not sexy. This has been me for quite awhile. I think I’m average. I’m not a knockout but I get compliments. I have a wonderful, supportive boyfriend that calls me beautiful and loves me for who I am but I mean, every guy wants a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. And every girl secretly wants to be that. Thus begins Project: Getting (or kinda finding) My Sexy Back.

Everyone sees those infomercials for the Brazil Butt Lift or Flirty Girl Fitness that are supposed to make fitness fun and sexy. Those are alright but nothing compares to finding a facility that offers good old pole dancing classes. The one wonderful place I found offers pole dance, sexy floor and chair dancing, as well as erotic stretches. Now, some people may be thinking that this will not get you in shape and I’m only doing this because I’m a closet freak. One of those statements is true. Do not be fooled though. If you find the right place with the right instructors, they will work you OUT. I leave sore and hungry. But damnit, I feel great. Not only am I on a high because I actually worked out, but I seriously feel sexier. I feel I’m some sort of goddess with my platform skripper shoes on, swinging around the pool, or making it clap to Rhianna. True story. The classes are full of diversity and strictly women. It’s just a fun time.

Here I am some 4 months later and I’m a new woman. I have a little swag now. I walk with my head up and tall. I’m more sociable and can look people in the eye which is something I’ve always struggled with. I smile. I’m taking more time to maintain my image. My relationship is on the up, up, and ups. I’m not about to be giving the Twerk Team a run for their money but I’ll get there. I’ve found my vixen and she is amazing.

If you can find a place that offers these services, GO DO IT! You won’t regret it. If there are none in your area, take a dry erase marker and write a motivational mantra on your bathroom mirror and read it every morning and night. Or whenever you go tinkle. Read it and believe it. There’s a vixen in all of us, especially we black girl nerds (you know what they say about the quiet ones). We just gotta drag her out.

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I WAS NERDY WAY BEFORE IT BECAME A FAD!!

As long as I can remember I never could be like the other girls in school. Although I tried, I just couldn’t pull it off. I got teased a lot because I was so different than the rest. My outfits stuck out, my thick poufy hair always made a statement, and being anti social sure didn’t help any. I kept to myself, focused on my work at hand and tried to not let it get me down.

So I didn’t think that this image of myself that was considered so bad, and un-cool would be cool as of today. I understand things change as time goes on but to finally accept who I am and have someone ask, “Are those personality glasses to match your outfit?” really irks me. I’m not following some fad, this is who I am and won’t change it for anything. But when walking into a store I can count on my hand how many people dressed in the things that I got teased in back in the day.

My point is you can change your look everyday and you will still be the same person. This fad can be gone tomorrow and I’ll still be that nerdy black girl who loves to read, write, poetry, computers, gaming, arts, rollercoaster's, smoothies, Lupe fiasco, and educating myself on all things African (culture, hair, style, music)

It took a long time for me to get to this point to actually say that I’m very comfortable with myself. Everything I do I do because it makes me happy, not because everyone else is doing it. Frankly I can care less what others are doing. That’s what makes me and others like me so cool, we were cool then and are still cool as of today regardless of some crazy fad.

-Nikki Lajoy

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Former Party Girl: Desperately Trying To Fit In

I'm a former party girl.  I moved to New York City in 2006 and lived in one of the most popular hotspots in  Manhattan a little town called the East Village.  I lived with three other roommates and made some friends who loved to be social and never let the grass grow under their feet.  I also lived in a borough where there was a bar on every block.  The equivalent of 7-11's in the South.  I decided to try to desperately fit in by shedding off my nerdy girl image and put on a new party girl persona wardrobe that would be fitting for living in downtown Manhattan.

I knew that this was not me at all.  However, this was really the only way I knew I could keep my friends and not seem odd to anyone.  I did a lot of things that frankly I regret.  I only wish I could turn back the hands of time and confront my fears and face the fact that its okay to be who I am.  I was in my twenties at the time, and I guess I can blame some of this on my age and simply being naive.  Now that I am in my thirties (eek) I frankly don't really give a damn what people think of me.  I don't even care what people think of my tastes in men, music, movies, or culture in general.  I am who I am and if you don't like it and I don't fit into your tiny little box, then the hell with ya!

I guess putting on the social mask of being a party girl was my way of releasing the suppressed wild child within me that did not get released during my college years.  I was an excellent student in college and I did not live on campus nor did I experience all of the crazy social events, parties, and sorority group my university had to offer me.  I was simply a commuter student that studied hard, stayed at home with family and stayed grounded.  So I guess I can say that I lived my "college years" when I first moved out on my own when I moved to NYC in 2006.

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we simply want to fit in because we want to make other people around us feel comfortable.  In the meantime we compromise our own comfort to satisfy friends.  I do wish I could go back and change the way I behaved back then, but I look at that time as a lesson to first of all---never go down that road again, and second to know that if I have friends that don't like the true me--they are not worth my time.  My party girl days are over and I am so relieved because its not cheap keeping up with that lifestyle and waking up with a hangover every morning is such a disgusting feeling.  However, waking up with piece of mind is soooo much better!

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Talking White/Acting Black

I'm about to go there.  Yes, I know this is another taboo subject, but let's keep it real okay?  I've been told by friends and family for many years that I sound like a "white girl".  When I was young I wasn't quite certain that I knew exactly what that meant.  I just knew I didn't sound like my family members or friends.  I sounded different in some way.  I grew up in the South.  However, I grew up in a city that was quite diverse in the South and there was a large mixture of all nationalities.  My accent was not really Southern, nor was my accent predominantly "African-American" per se.  It was actually a "mixture" so to speak.  A girlfriend of mine once said I sounded like I was from California.  She was from Cali herself and I thought it was kinda neat since I've always wanted to live there.  However, I couldn't help but wonder why should I have to sound and speak a certain way?

What's the big deal if I do sound Caucasian?  Does that mean I'm a traitor to my own race simply because I don't sound "Black"?   What is sounding "Black" anyway?  One could say a number of things such as the use of an expanded ebonic vocabulary.  My lack of the use of slang makes me sound less ethnic apparently.  But it's actually a bit more than that.  It's a sassiness and attitude that I also lack when I express myself.  I'm a bit more reticent and quiet in nature and I express myself in brief sentences more so than extended dialogue.  However, many Black women have a confident air about themselves in every way including the way they speak and how they sound when they speak.

I know that I'm not typical in any way, shape, or form.  That's why this blog was created.  I go against the order of what is the norm in this stereotypical narrow-minded realm of who and what I am supposed to be.  Therefore, when someone tells me I sound White, I can only reply by saying "Are Black women only supposed to sound a certain way?"

The reverse goes for White people "Acting Black"  Yes, sometimes this gesture bugs us and sometimes this very gesture is what turns us on (myself in particular), but I still criticize the same people who call me out for "Talking White" to be little more open-minded when they choose to criticize others for "Acting Black".  I may get some haters for saying this, but I'll be very honest.  I actually appreciate and like White people who embrace African-American culture.  I love it when men appreciate and love Black women and I love when the Hip Hop community is embraced more by other cultures than actual Black people.  Some Black people feel that something is being taken away from us, and I don't understand that concept since no one owns anything.  Everything is owned by a Higher Power anyway and we are just little minions on earth enjoying what resources have been gifted to us.

We can take on the Higher Power conversation later, but I hope you see my point.  I don't want to be confined in a tiny little box that will never allow me to spread my wings and expand to new realms and journeys here on planet Earth.  I don't want to be seen as narrow-minded and one-dimensional.  I wasn't born that way and neither is anyone else.  No one is destined to be a specific way simply because of what color their skin is. That is the beauty of why we are all here in the first place.  To live abundant lives that overflows in ways that you cannot even possibly imagine.  Food for thought.

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